The title of this blog post is actually a subtitle to the book ‘Exponential Living’ written by author Sheri Riley. Not only was finding this book a perfect time in my life but that statement really resonated with me.
To give you a quick summary, try answering these questions; Who are you? Do you feel happy with the way you are living your life? What are your values? Does the way you live your life focus around these values? Are you truly satisfied?
Did you struggle with answering any of those? Does the question, ‘Who are you?’ make you stop? Did you answer it by talking about your career or by what others say about you? How about when answering about your values, does your current life appreciate and cater to those values? Do you feel that on a daily basis you work hard towards creating a great life, maybe you create to-do lists and spend your days ticking tasks off or you focus each work week solely on your profession and then remind yourself to make time for your family or for yourself on the weekends?
I am in the middle of reading this book and a lot of these questions really made me open my eyes. I was that person who created endless to-do lists and goals, scheduled my days to be as productive as they could be, working towards becoming the best I can be in my career, but for some reason I always felt tired, stretched and not fully satisfied. I realized I was not happy and as much as I added more to my lists of tasks and goals with the thought of when I complete them, I will be happier, I still found myself not fully satisfied.
Thats when I realized, I was spending 100% of my time on 10% of my life. I never actually sat down and thought about what my values are, and when I did, I realized that all the tasks I ticked off and the goals I worked towards, as much as they were achievements, they were not aligning with my values and that is why I wasn’t feeling fully satisfied.
I hope this has been an eye opener for you and if it has, I won’t go into too much of how the book helps you work towards building a life catering to your values, because I really think it will be a worth while purchase for you. However I wanted to write a post introducing where all these thoughts came from for me and wanted to record my own personal progress. Here’s what I realized:
Where was I putting 100% of my energy:
- Thinking about how other people viewed myself and how I could work towards controlling their views about me. (Pleasing people)
- Completing everything and improving within my new job to be the absolute best I can be in it.
- Creating to-do lists of endless tasks that I needed to complete in order to feel happy each day (which was not working, there would always be another task and never was quite happy).
Then I asked myself what are my values, what is important to me:
- Creating amazing memories with my family
- Spending quality time with my friends and being in the moment
- Learning new things and growing internally
- Experiencing the great little things in life and adventures (more memories)
That is when I realized, I was spending 100% of my energy into things that were not my core values. That is why I always felt tired and stretched after completing all my to-do lists, trying to plan in family time on the weekends but being tired or my mind is still occupied about my tasks that I never was really living in the moment. I was not prioritizing what is me and what is important to me.
So I have been working towards changing my life. (This is where I really recommend purchasing the book. It is hard to just change what you have been routinely completing for majority of your life without some guidance and the book is amazing at making the shift easy, as long as you are willing to put in the work needed.)
- I dig down into all my personal strengths, values, abilities and now go into every situation with a positive mindset and confidence. This helps with feeling, it no longer matters what people think of me, I know what I can do and I have that with me at every moment.
- The effort I put into my job is still a great accomplishment for me, but it no longer takes all my energy from being put towards my values.
- I plan really exciting days or activities with my family and friends, and feel satisfied with the memories I am creating and the life experiences I am having.
- I now plan my days to be adventure driven and find myself experiencing things a lot more and feeling in the moment.
- I have stopped creating endless to-do lists that are filled with tasks that do not make me feel satisfied at the end of them, and the tasks I do have to complete, again no longer use all my energy from being put towards my values.
I would like to point out, I am in no way trying to push a purchase on anyone reading this post, I just know that for something that has really helped me get past a mind block in my life, I wouldn’t want to not share it with others who may be experiencing the same thing I was.
As this post is getting quite long, I am going to write another post and have it be a partner to this one, as I want to record one day of my life where I have now been applying what I have learned and changed in my life, and to also share with you.
Please let me know if you enjoyed reading this or if it was mind evoking at all for you.
Thanks for reading!